Need a healthy stress release? This beautiful coloring book features 35 creative and intricate designs with classic and wonderfully original insults, exclamations and cats to help you relax and let go of the stressful situations in your life.
Each single-sided page includes hilarious, aggression-relieving insults AND adorable cats!
The fun and feline lovin’ folks at Day Drankin’ Press were kind enough to offer 5 lucky Purrington Post readers the chance to win one.
* Contest Now Closed
This contest ended on April 23rd, 2018 and was available to North American residents only. Entrants simply needed to submit a comment in our “Leave a Reply” section at the bottom of this page saying:
My cat’s name is [insert your cat’s name] and if he/she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he/she would probably say [your cat’s insult about you]
The 5 winners were chosen by the Hater Cats team from all the correctly submitted entries and contacted by email.
My cat’s name is Sherlock and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say: are you ever going to read all these books or will you just keep stacking them until they fall on me?
My cat’s name is St. Paul and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say” I am named after a saint, I am a very good cat so all my demands should be met.”
My cats names are Delilah & Amber/Kitty if they could talk they’d say are you ever going to stop watching that show and fill up our half full cat bowls?
My cats’ names are Tarifa, Suha, and Elvis, and if they could speak English and decided to insult me, this is what they would probably say: Good help is hard to find, but this servant of ours tries hard to make our lives the best they can be, so we think we’ll keep her.
My cats name is Lucy and if she could talk and decided to insult me she would say ” hey how come you get to eat first your way fatter than me “
My cat’s name is Jezebelle and if she could talk and decided to insult me she would say “You need to get off that phone and exercise by playing with my worm on a stick toy. I will relax and laugh as you dangle that toy in front of me.”
My cat’s name is Zora and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she’d probably say: stop walking up and down the hall so much! I realize you’re getting old and forgetful but I really need you to get online ASAP and expedite my Chewy order! My goodness!
My cat’s name is Meku and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say “you aren’t my REAL mom, I’ll do what I want!”
My cat’s name is Romeo Luigi and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say, “Why did you let Rachel bring that orange cat to my house.”
My cat’s name is Kitty and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say: Only nice things, because my kitty is a good kitty!
MY CATS NAMES QWAYNEOUK AND IF SHE COULD TALK AND DECIDED TO INSULT ME THIS IS WHAT SHE WOULD PROBABLY SAY ITD BE PURRSOME IF YOU COULD CLIMB THIS CATTREE AND WALK THIS CAT WALK ON THIS CATAFICATION HIGHWAY MEOW
I have 10 of these guys I’ve rescued from the street. They each have their own personality which is fun. I’m probably the only 70 year old that has to have cabinet locks! I I love them all and they keep me soo busy. This would be fun for me to relax with.
My cat’s name is Kittyand if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say that I am not picky enough and do not pay enough attention to him.
My cat’s name is Kimba and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say “what’s with you getting all those delicious smelling meals and then just giving me this dry kibble??!”
My cat’s name is Seuss and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say, “Can I have some of your food? You certainly don’t look like you need it!”.
Forgot my cats names, Garfield, Smokey, Magnum, Pita, Callie, Rhett, Loki, Harley, Jackson, and Baby Girl. I think if they had an insult for me, it would have to do with the couch. They believe in the saying “move your feet, lose your seat”. They hate having to move and give me some sour looks.
This is so precious. I think everyone needs one of these.
My cat’s name is Midnight and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she’d probably say “I don’t know if you’re honestly insensitive or just pretending but when I can see the color of the bottom of my dish, it means FEED ME MEOW!!! Don’t be so slow!’
My cats’ names are Psyco, Juneau, and Ember and if they could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he/she would probably say you’re late with food AGAIN!
My cat’s name is romey and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say humom, will you finally sit down I’ve waited all day for you to come home; Now sit down so i can sit on your lap finally and curl up.
My cat’s name is Mawatha, and if she could talk and decided to insult me, she would probably say, “Chill out! and take time to smell the cat grass.”
My cat’s name is Miss Kiki and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say “don’t call me overweight again, let’s talk about how big your stomach is this time” .
My cat’s name is Frosty, and if she could talk and decided to insult me, she would climb into my husband’s lap and say to me “who are you and why are you living here with me and my man?”
I would love to win this I have 5 cats their names are Cali Shadow Boots Oreo and Marley thanks for the chance good luck to everyone
My cat’s name is Turbo and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say why don’t you put don’t that phone and brush me then you won’t have to complain about the hair in your coffee.
My cat’s name is Hewitt and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say, “If you slept in any longer in the mornings, you’d be dead. Even worse, I would starve to death!”
My cats’ names are Domino and Kathleen and if they could talk and decided to insult me, this is what they would probably say, “You are such a human!”
My cat’s name is Precious and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say – you like that other cat Jojo better than me-i see u hugging and kissing her when i sneak around the corner and i’m gonna get her
My cat’s name is Valerius Roman and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say You are crazy, I am NOT letting you touch me.
My cats name is Oakley Naughty cat and if he could talk and decided to insult me (which I’m sure he would 😹) this is what he would probably say.
You don’t exactly smell like roses when you go to the bathroom either and you leave your hair everywhere too!!
My cat’s names are Odie and Reggie and if they could talk and decided to insult me, this is what they would probably say: It’s obvious that beauty sleep is fake news, so playing with us at 3 am shouldn’t be a problem!
I have 3 cats and have been a cat lover all my life. I work with a cat hater and really need to post these pages in my office!
I would give this to a co-worker of mine if I won. She loves her cat more than anything and would get a kick out of this.
My cats names are Sammy, Star, Alize, Moonlight, and Midnight and if they could talk and decided to insult me, this is what they would probably say, you take so many pictures of us, yet we don’t see any extra treats.
My cats’ names are Nicky, Raspberry and Kit Kat, and if my girls could talk and decided to insult me, this is what they would probably say, “If you insist on kisses from us, then we insist on licking our butts first.”
My cat’s name is Micro Dot and if he could talk and decided to insult me he would probably say “A friend in need is a friend indeed, but a friend like you is best considered an enemy”.
My cat’s name is Velma and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say: Mom, those cat ears you wear are really not workin’ for you. lol
My cats’ names are Meeko and Tibby, and if they could talk and decided to insult me, this is what they would probably say, “You probably shouldn’t eat snacks before bed either.”
My cats names are Sally Ashes & Bailey Ditty, and if they could talk and decided to insult me, this is what they would probably say. “We are the queens of this here castle see, if you see us sauntering down the hallway, you better move aside or we will trip you.”
My cat’s name is Carlton and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say. “You’ve eaten enough cheese steak for today. I’ll take over from here.”
My cat’s names are Valentine & Vanya and if they could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he/she would probably say “Go take a cat-nap!”
My cat’s name is Chairman Meow and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say, “If you are going to just stand there at least pick me up so I can look into your puny human eyes.”
My cat’s name is Ziggy, and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say “What do you mean, get out of your space in the bed? You get out of MY space and go sleep else where!!”.
My cat’s name is Drusilla and if he/she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he/she would probably say “Honestly, human, the dog is smarter than you. Way smarter.”
OMG I LOVE THESE!! Ok here you go “My cat’s name is Cody, and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what hewould probably say “you know, you say you are a CAT person but the way you fawn over my Shetland Sheepdog brother disgusts me to no end! I am the one you need to adore, ME and ONLY ME!”
My cat’s name is Elsa and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he/she would probably say, “Seriously? You think you can outsmart me?”
My cat’s name is Nermal and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she probably say- ” Don’t you think it’s time to call your stylist? – the roots on your hair are really very unattractive!”.
My cat’s name is Riki Tiki Purr Purr and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say “You are purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrfectly wrong as usual!”
My cat’s name is Cleo and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say, “I f I wanted you to talk, I wouldn’t lay on your face.”
I have 3 cats: Sunny, Josie & Matilda. If they could talk and decided to insult me, this is what they would say: “The service around here is MUCH too slow! We will be interviewing for your replacement next week. Hmmmph.”
My cat’s name is Chloe and if she could talk and decided to insult me, she would say, “The man in the bed is all mine, how dare you try to squeeze in beside us! He prefers the pleasure of my company over yours! Sleep on the couch, Food Lady!”
My cat’s name is George and if he could talk and decided to insult me, he would say, Hey pops you have been home for 5 minutes and you haven’t given me any treats yet!
My cats names are Phoebe, Sophia, Natasha and Violet and if they he/she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what they would probably say, “Just remember we own you; you don’t own us!
My cats are Rosie and Tommy and if they could talk they would thank us for saving them from being out on their own and trying to survive, but they would be happier if they did not have to share us with a dog.
My Missy would say”ur a horriblr waiter.Pearl would tell me i’m the slowest human she ever met
My cat’s name is Fred and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say: What’s that perfume you’re wearing? My sister’s rear end smells better than that!”
My cat’s name was Tuxie and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say “take better care of yourself” & “here’s our new roommate, I found him at our window. He’s going to live with us now.”
My cat’s names are Annabella, Chloe, Danny and Honey and if they could talk and decided to insult me, this is what they would probably say “Where’s the food or goodies old lady? Can’t you and your cane move any faster??”
My cat’s name is Rocky and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say: “Yes I ate your butter for the tenth time this month, because apparently you are a very slow learner. You ought to realize by now that if there’s butter on the counter, it’s gonna get licked.”
My cat’s name is Rocky and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say – “You think I want to sit on your lap but really I’m just trying to tell you you’re in my chair. Amd when you move, you’ll be in my chair again. They are all my chairs.”
My cat’s name is Violet Marie and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he/she would probably say – at least when i was homeless no one picked me up and made me be in selfies, you are a stage 5 clinger.
My cat’s name is Sunshine and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say, “Go to bed, the near misses of the thick book you are periodically starting to drop on me as you fall asleep, are too close for my comfort!”
My cat’s name is Xena the Warrior Princess and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say:
“I eat breakfast at 4:00 a.m. and if you want to continue to work for me and live in MY house, you had better deal with it sleepyhead!
FYI, my litter box is overflowing with applications.
My cat’s name is Serra and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say – it’s been at least 15 minutes since you fed me last. What’s your problem? And why aren’t you petting me for pete’s sake? Sheesh. I have to do everything around here.
I love colouring books, and I love insults so this is for me. My cat’s name is Sally and if she could talk and insult me, she’d probably say, “No really, Sleep another hour. It’s not like you need exercise….” Ok, she’s sarcastic too.
My cat’s name is Jax and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he/she would probably say, “Oh is it really Saturday? My bowl doesn’t know the days of the week and by the way it’s empty.” **bites and pulls my hair as I sleep** (punk)
My cat’s name is Oz and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he/she would probably say what’s with this sleeping business? She’s supposed to pet and cuddle me 24/7!
My cats name is Raider and if he could talk,and decided to insult me..this is what he would say…Stop sitting on me..you’ve gain a ton of weight!!
My cat’s names are Little Bear, Puffi, Myusha, Sparkey, Yona and BB-8. If they could talk and decided to insult me, this is what they would say: You are supposed to keep our kibble bowls FULL 24/7. Hop to it hooman!
My cat’s name is Mila and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would say, “I’m so much prettier than you.”
My cat’s name is Xena the Warrior Princess and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say:
“I eat breakfast at 4:00 a.m. and if you want to continue to work for me and live in MY house, you had better deal with it sleepyhead!
FYI, my litter box is overflowing with applications.
My cats names are Ciqala and Yazhi.if they could talk and decided to insult me… This is what they would say mom I want food and water now not later now d@#$ it.
My cat’s name is Princess Nala Kitty and, if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say, “You really need to do something about my empty food bowl.”
My Cat’s name is Blue and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say, “If I wanted your opinion on my treat consumption, I would give it to you! Now give me a treat before I bite your ankles!”
My Cat’s name is Molly and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say, “You humans don’t even know how to hunt. How did you survive? Now you are my responsibility so here is your mouse for dinner. You’re welcome.”
My cat’s name is Monty and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say ‘How would you feel if I arranged for your nuts to be cut off?’
My cat’s name is Enzo and he would say, “Why is there no food in my bowl, servant”?
My cat’s name is Pepper and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say “Your whiskers are too short, your teeth are too dull and you don’t sleep nearly long enough….I’ll catch you a mouse because you’ll never make it”
My cat’s name is Toby and Zoey and if they could talk and decided to insult me, this is what they would probably say “Open your door and let me smack you in your sleep.”
My cat’s name is Tater and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say My human must be blind not to see that there is a tiny empty space at the bottom of my food bowl
My cat’s name is George and if he were to insult me he’d say, “Get off the computer right now and move it off your lap. That’s MY spot!”
My kitty’s name is Oliver, and he would say, “Um, you don’t set an alarm clock anymore because of me. I think you know why. So now hustle over and feed me, and make sure you can’t see the bottom of the food bowl.”
My cat’s name is Argentum and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say, “Mama must be stupid because she thinks she can train me when I’m training her to fetch my doll!”
My cat’s name is Jasmine and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say “I’m running away so I never have to see your face again.” as she packs her toys up and walks out the door.
Bad Kitty would say.. why does she tells me when she will be back home leaving in the mirning… does she think I care?
My cat’s name is Lily, and she would say, yes, I am very beautiful, but you must never ever touch me with your human hands.
My cat’s name is Princess Fiesta and and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say – Forget the beauty sleep. It’s a lost cause. Get up and feed me now!
My cat’s name are Princess and Gigi and they could talk and decided to insult me, this is what they would probably say: “Eat my shorts!” (A phrase made famous by Bart Simpson, of course).
My cat’s name is Mr. Banks and he succeeds in making everyone think he’s as important as he thinks he is. If he decided to insult me he would scold me by saying “You never listen to me when I’m talking!!’
Love the book, it really brings out the true spirit of our feline friends!!! <3
My cat’s name is Polly and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say, “I can tell by your exclamation of delight that you really appreciate my 4-point landing on your bladder.”
My cat’s name is Odie and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say: “Let me out so I can roll on the dirt and get your disgusting indoor human scent off me.”
My cat’s name is Wessley and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say “hey, why are you stuffing your fat face when I’m over here with an empty bowl?!”
(I have other cat’s but chose him because he’s always looking for food.)
My cat’s name is Otto and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say, “Hey, the next time you try to lift me by my prodigious tummy, I’m going to forget you give me treats, and bite you.”
My cat is sammie and if he could talk and decided to insult me he would say, ” eww, you reek of Bengay and make my eyes water you old lady.”
My cat’s name is Leo and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say, “You’re looking at that noise box again? I’ll give you something to look at, my butt! Heh heh.”
My cat’s name is Luna and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say: “I give you the privilege of living with me and all you do is pay the mortgage and bills, manage the household and buy all of my food, treats, toys and accessories. Slacker.”
My cat’s name is Dr. Awesome, and if he could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he would probably say; “Woman, stop kissing on me. Your neediness is an unattractive quality.”
My cat’s name is Topaz and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say”Yes, your butt does look fat in those jeans!”
My cat’s name is Miri and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what he/she would probably say, “you only sleep 8 hours a day? Those are rookie numbers!”
My cat’s name is Lily, Tiki, Jimmy, Mucca, Jonathan, Panda, Luke, Basha, and Miesha and if they could talk and decided to insult me, this is what they would probably say “Stop being on your computer all of the time and get off your butt and play with us! Your butt is getting wide!!!”
My cat’s name is Boo and if she could talk and decided to insult me, this is what she would probably say You don’t play with me long enough.